Being Tenderheaded Is For The Birds

That's it. That's the title.

Where is my tenderheaded coalition? I know I am not alone in the Big Tears Brigade. You remember them crocodile tears that would fall no matter how old you were when it was hair time. Sure, you got used to it. You stopped shedding tears. You grew up. That doesn't mean the scalp gave up that life.

Full disclosure, I was born premature. My scalp is tender exactly where they said the needles were placed. Yes, that's right. I had needles in my head. The story is my tiny baby head was shaved (literally....they cut my baby hairs!). They could keep putting the needles in my little arms. The next option was my head. My mom, aunties, and all the church aunties and mothers prayed over me and my head. Yes, they prayed I would have a full head of beautiful hair.

Baby.... this head is full! All glory to my Heavenly Father. But uh, BRUH! Why do I have to STILL be tenderheaded. I am a grown woman that has cried in a salon chair. Boo, I was in my 20s. I remember like it was yesterday. (Uh, no it was NOT yesterday. Thank you very much. #babyfacegang #blackdontcrack) This kind stylist (not my stylist but a recommendation for a wedding I was in) put the relaxer in my hair any ole kind of way. I mean it. I have never seen a more random part having relaxer put in anyone's head. Let alone my own. Somehow, the relaxer (touch up) ended up all over. However along the way, I cried as she ripped through my hair. I don't even remember my hair being combed through prior. All I know is, I had not felt that kind of pain in YEARS. The tears fell as I was in silent agony. Whew chile. I'll leave it at that. My sisterfriend received wonderful text messages from me letting her know to be prepared to rehab my hair.

“I'm a grown woman that has cried in a salon chair”

That was the last time I cried while getting my hair done. However, my scalp gets tender every so often. Today is one of them. Sometimes it is hard to quickly remedy the situation when it could be anything. I change my part. I kept parts in too long (my twists or braids). I waited too long between wash days. The wind blew. Listen, this scalp doesn't care. But relief is possible. I just have to figure out what will work today.

Let's look at some ways to bring comfort to a hurting head.

Seven Sore Scalp Remedies

1. Go to sleep.

2. Put in or take out a ponytail holder.

3. Unravel the twists or braids.

4. Gently massage the area that is tender or sore.

5. Oil the scalp.

6. Use a dry shampoo.

7. Wash day.

These are my most common remedies. One remedy might suffice. Other times, it could be a combination of remedies. Considering I washed my hair two days ago, my next option is oil my scalp. Massaging is a temporary solution this time. This feels like possible inflammation. In which case, I start with my oil mix: coconut, peppermint, and tea tree oils. If the soreness persists in a few days, wash day will need to be a detox day. If you viewed my washing series post regarding shampooing, this is a rare time I may pre-poo with an ACV rinse. This may also call for clarifying shampoo only. I also have a detox deep conditioner.

This could also be allergy related. Like I said, the scalp acts up when it wants. Seasons change. So does your body.

Let me know what are some of your remedies for a sore scalp. As always, let's help each other.

Wash Day Routine: Detangling

Ready. Set. Figh...I mean detangle!

Hey ND Fam! This is the third installment of my wash day series. If you are just tuning in, I encourage you to take a step back and read my first posts on cleansing and conditioning. They aren't critical to this post. However, I will reference some steps.

Let's get those curls tangle-free!

“If you don't have a firm foundation, you can't expect your hair to flourish when styling.”

Detangling

Final step of the washing process! Detangling isn't outside of washing. It is a part of the conditioning process. At this point, you should have fully coated strands with your deep conditioner.

Detangling can be a touchy subject. What YOU use to detangle is your business. Fingers. Combs. Brushes. All. Whatever helps you achieve thorough detangling. The key here is to be gentle and take your time even if you are in a hurry. Here's the thing. Healthy hair does not require long detangling sessions. I can hear you now. "Where they do that at?!?" "My hair is too tightly coiled and takes forever." "Girl, bye."

Here me out. I thought the same thing when I would hear MoKnowsHair say it. Her hair is not as tight as mine. (I am not 4C and never will claim it but type 4 is still tight. Please do NOT be fooled by the crown and top of my head.) Detangling took a long time for me. But after I had an AMAZING experience with one of my new favorite deep conditioners, detangling takes me 10 minutes. MAYBE 15 if I am coming out of a wash n go. However, longer than 10 minutes is rare.

Remember when I said downward motions when applying the products? Remember as I said to lightly finger detangle along the way? These steps matter. Also, breaking down the hair into sections (the breakdown method) also makes a difference. What you do before detangling matters. If you pile all your hair at the top of your head when shampooing, you have already set yourself back.

Healthy hair does not require long detangling sessions.

Healthy hair is pliable. Pliable hair is critical to detangling. When the hair doesn't easily snap back, something is amiss. Generally, that's a protein/moisture imbalance. IF YOU NEED A TRIM, detangling may take longer.

The goal is to safely remove shed hair and make sure each strand is free flowing. Shed hair is the main culprit of tangles. I begin with finger detangling especially if my hair has been in a bun or ponytail for a few days. Shed hair abounds since my hair was not loose for the strands to slide out. I follow up with a shower comb to help with anything I miss. Do NOT yank the comb or brush through. If you hit a rough spot, stop. Remove the tool. Finger detangle to feel the knot. Most likely, this is a patch of shed hair that needs to be released. Sometimes your hair will knot up. You can safely pull apart the knot with your fingers. It is much better than ripping through the hair (which causes damage boo). Once the knot is broken down into smaller pieces, you can return to using a detangling tool.

Please use combs and brushes that are created to detangle. Not all combs and brushes are created equal. Keep tools clean and replace as needed.

As always, glean what you can. Try a step or two. Find what works for you.

I'm taking a break from the washing series next week. Look out for subsequent styling posts. Different strokes for different....styles? Eh, I tried. LOL! I hope this series is helpful to you.

Let me know what after wash style types you want to see in this series.

Drop a question in the contact form or comment below. Let's help each other.

Ask Naturelle D

Wash Day Routine: Conditioning

Hair is fresh and clean. Now, let's condition.

Hey ND Fam! This is the second installment of my wash day series. If you are just tuning in, I encourage you to take a step back and read my previous post on cleansing. Clean hair is a must. Today's post is about conditioning. Let's get those curls right!

“If you don't have a firm foundation, you can't expect your hair to flourish when styling.”

Conditioning

Now that the hair is cleansed, let's get to conditioning. The goal is to provide the hair what's missing. The key here is to understand what is going on with the hair before washing. There are different signs that dictate why types of products you should use. Our focus today is not on product selection. If you would like more on that, let me know.

The conditioning process may require just a deep conditioner/treatment/mask. Sometimes, you may need to prep the hair with a rinse out conditioner before deep conditioning. Like I mentioned in the first post, this may seem like a lot. There is a purpose for each step. Check out my steps and guide for using rinse out and deep conditioners.

Rinse Out Conditioner:

After shampooing, I use the corresponding rinse out conditioner. If I will use a deep conditioner that doesn't have a lot of slip or is a repairing/protein conditioner, I will thoroughly coat the hair. For the deep conditioner that doesn't have slip, this is when I thoroughly detangle. You can apply the rinse out conditioner after rinsing the shampoo (2nd shampoo step) out of a section. Before moving on to shampoo the next section, apply a light coat of the rinse out conditioner.

Prep for a deep conditioner with slip:

Once you are back to the first section, gently finger detangle for about 30 seconds. As you rinse, keep detangling under the water.

Prep for a deep conditioner without slip or a heavy protein treatment:

Both types of deep conditioners require preparation in some way. In each section, apply more rinse out conditioner. To prep for deep conditioners (of any kind) without slip, use this opportunity to thoroughly detangle. For heavy protein treatments WITH slip, lightly detangle as you apply.

Deep Conditioner:

Following the cycle of your sections, rinse out the regular conditioner and apply the deep conditioner. Clip up and move on to the next section. After covering all sections, cover with a plastic cap.

Now what happens next depends on the instructions of the treatment. Yes, boo. READ THE INSTRUCTIONS! While our curls require more TLC than straight hair, you need to know the intent of the manufacturer. This is especially important for protein conditioners. Overprocessing is just as damaging as too little processing. See what's on the label and find your next step:

• 1-5 minutes processing: immediately begin detangling the sections.

• 5+ minutes processing: the shorter time frame, I would say you can get away with washing your body first. Longer time frame, go ahead and do your entire body wash routine. Afterwards, thoroughly detangle each section.

After detangling, rinse out the conditioner. Be sure your scalp is rinsed thoroughly. Mine likes to hold on to conditioner. If you are using a moisturizing treatment, feel free to leave a TINY bit on your strands. Don't forget to twist and clip up each section.

You are ready to style!

Don't think I'm just going to skip over detangling. Absolutely not! This entire process is meant to gain and maintain healthy hair. How long it takes to detangle is a HUGE sign of the health of your hair. I got you covered in the next post. You might fight me. But, I love you.

I hope this shines some light on your wash routine. Glean what you can. Try a step or two out. Find what works for you.

Drop a question in the contact form or comment below. Let's help each other.

Ask Naturelle D