Why You Should Stop Saying "I Want My Hair To Grow Long"

Hey ND Tribe! (This greeting keeps changing. I don't know what to call y'all! Help a lady out!)

Today's written offering is about the (buzzword alert) toxic mentality of hair growth in the natural hair community.

That's right. Hair growth.

Hair growth is predetermined. Point blank period. How fast hair grows for the normal, every day naturella (I'm tired of the word naturalista) is set. Are there ways to increase hair growth? Yes. Have I tested any? Nope. Why? Because I am an every day woman and don't have time for these experiments. (Full disclaimer: My natural hair growth is pretty fast anyway so it would be completely disingenuous to try these "hacks".) I do not want to be upside down on my bed having to slowly get up because all the blood rushed to my head. Chile, I live alone. If something went terribly wrong, who is helping me? No one. I will not put mustard powder on my scalp and have to wash that foolishness out. No. Stop it!

The truth is.... (Lean in close. Grab a tissue if you need to. I'm saying this because I love you. Truly.)

YOU HAVE TO LEARN YOUR HAIR AND HOW TO RETAIN LENGTH! YOU HAVE TO HAVE PATIENCE! THIS IS TRIAL BY ERROR!

You honestly have to find your journey. I make it very clear in my corner of the natural hair community that haircare in and of itself is easy. Clean scalp. Moisture and protein balance of the hair. Weekly regimen. Do what works for you. The thing is... YOU have to work at it. If "you" working at it is paying a licensed hairstylist to care for your mane, do that!

Maintaining healthy hair takes work. The secret is to have a routine that becomes natural to you. A habit. Autopilot. Wash days are only dreadful for me if life has beat me up. Like right now. I'll be honest. Ya girl is physically and emotionally tired. But one thing I do know. When I wash my hair, it rejuvenates me. In times like this, discipline takes over.

As I repeatedly say, if your hair is having issues, you have to hear what your mane is saying. Can you figure out the remedy on a YouTube binge? Sure, if you access what information you are viewing. But do you know what to access? My suggestion is to find licensed professionals who happen to vlog and not a vlogger. I know. I love my sisters that have been doing the blog/vlog work for the movement. However, you need someone who understands haircare. The actual science of haircare. That's the difference maker. To that end, I would rather you book an appointment with a stylist. Find you a hairapist!

Additionally, if you hear someone speaking constantly about hair growth and not length retention, close out and move along. Hair growth is not your focus. What is?

• Length retention

• Healthy hair environment

• Patience

• Joy in the crown you are blessed with

These are the keys. What (actually) works for you, what makes you happy, and what makes you accept what the Lord has given to your care is the focus. When you are a good steward, discipline pushes you when have an "I don't wanna" spirit.

Bottom line: Love the hair you have. Care for the hair YOU have. Healthy hair is the goal. These are the prerequisites before you opt to have hair length goals.