Naturelle D Updates: Where You Can Find Me

Hey Lovelies!

I took a short break as life is trying to get back into full swing. Am I the only one attempting to find a new balance? It is tough. Motivation is a rollercoaster. With that, I may be posting every two weeks for now. I will try my best to stick to weekly. I enjoy blogging. For those that peek in every once in a while, I appreciate you.

In these last few weeks, a few opportunities landed in my schedule. If you are not following me on Instagram, you are missing out on my stint as a co-host on the Unhinged with Tylted Halo radio show on Red Ink Radio Live. I am a Tylted Tribe member and a monthly regular with the entire Tribe (see our latest shenanigans here). Recently, my big sis Tylted Halo conducted an interview of little ole me as a way for the listeners to meet me. Tune in on Tuesdays and listen in as we discuss "What's Really Going On" in this world. We pack the show with comedic commentary along with moments reflecting on issues happening around us. It's a great time!

Wait...there is more! This past week I recorded a CROWN Act video short with a wonderful dynamic duo, Reagan of C Suite Styling LLC and Marisa of OrganixLocs, who host a CROWN Act virtual conference all summer long. Catch the ladies go live with interviews showcasing different leaders of different arenas as well as the release of monthly CROWN Act Shorts, videos giving a model a workplace makeover. Your girl got her hair styled by Marisa while Reagan dressed me up. I cannot wait to see how the video turns out! Follow them on Instagram and YouTube to see the videos and join the events!

Other than that, I'm getting back to blogging and creating content for IG. I will get my TikTok life together! I promise. It's all in the balance of work, personal, and this thing called content creation. You know where to find me.

Stay safe and walk in love.

Why You Should Stop Saying "I Want My Hair To Grow Long"

Hey ND Tribe! (This greeting keeps changing. I don't know what to call y'all! Help a lady out!)

Today's written offering is about the (buzzword alert) toxic mentality of hair growth in the natural hair community.

That's right. Hair growth.

Hair growth is predetermined. Point blank period. How fast hair grows for the normal, every day naturella (I'm tired of the word naturalista) is set. Are there ways to increase hair growth? Yes. Have I tested any? Nope. Why? Because I am an every day woman and don't have time for these experiments. (Full disclaimer: My natural hair growth is pretty fast anyway so it would be completely disingenuous to try these "hacks".) I do not want to be upside down on my bed having to slowly get up because all the blood rushed to my head. Chile, I live alone. If something went terribly wrong, who is helping me? No one. I will not put mustard powder on my scalp and have to wash that foolishness out. No. Stop it!

The truth is.... (Lean in close. Grab a tissue if you need to. I'm saying this because I love you. Truly.)

YOU HAVE TO LEARN YOUR HAIR AND HOW TO RETAIN LENGTH! YOU HAVE TO HAVE PATIENCE! THIS IS TRIAL BY ERROR!

You honestly have to find your journey. I make it very clear in my corner of the natural hair community that haircare in and of itself is easy. Clean scalp. Moisture and protein balance of the hair. Weekly regimen. Do what works for you. The thing is... YOU have to work at it. If "you" working at it is paying a licensed hairstylist to care for your mane, do that!

Maintaining healthy hair takes work. The secret is to have a routine that becomes natural to you. A habit. Autopilot. Wash days are only dreadful for me if life has beat me up. Like right now. I'll be honest. Ya girl is physically and emotionally tired. But one thing I do know. When I wash my hair, it rejuvenates me. In times like this, discipline takes over.

As I repeatedly say, if your hair is having issues, you have to hear what your mane is saying. Can you figure out the remedy on a YouTube binge? Sure, if you access what information you are viewing. But do you know what to access? My suggestion is to find licensed professionals who happen to vlog and not a vlogger. I know. I love my sisters that have been doing the blog/vlog work for the movement. However, you need someone who understands haircare. The actual science of haircare. That's the difference maker. To that end, I would rather you book an appointment with a stylist. Find you a hairapist!

Additionally, if you hear someone speaking constantly about hair growth and not length retention, close out and move along. Hair growth is not your focus. What is?

• Length retention

• Healthy hair environment

• Patience

• Joy in the crown you are blessed with

These are the keys. What (actually) works for you, what makes you happy, and what makes you accept what the Lord has given to your care is the focus. When you are a good steward, discipline pushes you when have an "I don't wanna" spirit.

Bottom line: Love the hair you have. Care for the hair YOU have. Healthy hair is the goal. These are the prerequisites before you opt to have hair length goals.

Mother's Day Memories

Hey ND Fam. I'm a tad bit behind on my blog this week. I wasn't sure what to discuss since it was Mother's Day weekend. It's just been a rough two weeks in general. Life, chile. Life.

I couldn't go this week without writing about my angel. My mother is still my inspiration. To put it into context, I have lived more years without her than with her. I was blessed to spend almost 16 years with my mom. I count it a blessing. There are women roaming this earth that have less time or no time with their mother. I don't take it for granted.

Some of my most cherished memories of my mom are centered around my hair. Wash day was an EVENT! As I recently discussed, I am tenderheaded with a WHOLE head of hair on my peanut head. For the record, this is all her fault. Hehe. My mom had a ton of hair as well. But as I have heard over the years, my hair is an answer to her prayers.

When I was born, I was a month and a day early and had jaundice. I was also a tiny tot for Christ. Needless to say, my little self was transferred to the NICU at a local hospital. Meaning, I was transferred to a different hospital a town over. There were needles...lights...the whole bit. The doctors didn't want to keep sticking my baby arms with needles so they opted to shave my head. My little head had no hair, chile. So of course, all the church mothers and my pastors were praying for my healing. But my mom also prayed for my hair. She prayed that I would have a full head of hair.

After a few weeks in the hospital, they took me home and the rest is history. A history of a full head of hair down my back at a young age. The Lord heard her cry and answered her plea. She forgot to ask that I would not have a tenderhead. Ah well! You learn to live with it. It took me a LONG time to deal with it. She would do my hair late and I would fall asleep in her lap. (Huh. This explains why I do my hair at midnight. HA!) It was our thing. My aunt (mom's mirror identical twin!) would come over and try to entertain me some days. My mom would braid my hair and my aunt would read from my joke books. That was our "triplet" time. (I stole my mom's whole face.)

My mom wasn't fully into makeup. She was one for presentation of hair. She let me have my crazy hair moments after I learned to do my own hair. (I was a very active kid.) One thing that was unspoken, she wanted me to be happy with me. She wanted me to be secure in my presentation. My hair is my crown and glory no matter if it was long or short.

My mom always had shoulder length hair. Even during her fight against cancer, she went natural and always tried to remain presentable for herself....and me. I remember there were days in the hospital, she wouldn't let me see her. I took a peak anyway. I saw the needles and tubes. She was fighting for her life. I didn't care what it all looked like. I just wanted her to know that I saw her fight and that I loved her. Straight hair. Curly hair. Pressed hair. Bangs. A flip. I lived for all of it. One of my aunts would braid her hair while she was sick. She needed it for her. It made her happy. It was a small thing. And she certainly taught me that hair is not the main thing. Present who you are for you and no one else. Be my authentic self. That's all she ever wanted.

Not exactly where I thought I would go with this post. But, I needed this. After 20+ years, you take solace in memories. Here's to my angel. I still love her. I see her in my aunt every day. Even better, I'm starting to see her in me.