If I Was Your....Bachelorette

Hey Curl Friends! You alright? Have you recovered from all the goings on in the world? If you need a place to chuckle for a moment, this is the place to be.

If you are wondering if I'm going to drop my thoughts on Michelle being a future Bachelorette, the answer is no. I AM going to discuss what life would be like for me as a contestant on The Bachelor. As I watched Season 25, I couldn't help but notice the need to be "date ready" at any given time. On top of that, you have to be "camera ready". Um...... the way my natural hair is set up, help me Jesus! Let me count the ways this could go great or terrible.

As A Contestant

Arriving for the initial meet, it would be in my best interest to begin the show with a Curlformer set. For my own sanity, I can maneuver an aging Curlformer set. I also feel it's a more "polished" look I can achieve to match a gown situation. This is also assuming no hair stylist is helping me. Could I just blowout my hair and slick up a bun? Sure. Could I do a twist out or braid out and achieve the same? Absolutely. Would I want to? Not for the first rose ceremony. It's my level of comfort for styling a more formal hair style. After the initial rose ceremony and I make it through, here's where the journey TRULY begins.

That first week, the Curlformer set ages gracefully. I hope. My hair tends to act up at the worst times. If production allows, the hair scissors are most likely in the suitcase since I hope to make it to the end. A trim will be necessary at some point. Oh goodness, HAIR PRODUCTS! TOOLS! Do people understand how many products I use depending on the style?!? You know what, this alone is a reason I wouldn't do the show. Who is packing all this?!?! If I get kicked off within the first three weeks, I would be pissed. It's day 1 and I'm already stressed out over my hair.

The show must go on.

We see every week the progression of dating process. The contestants take part in one of the one-on-one dates (two available) or the group date. Since we begin after a rose ceremony, hair is pretty fresh. What comes out of the scarf or bonnet is generally safe. If by chance I get the first one-on-one date, I'm not stressed on the hair situation. During the day, I want my hair flying free. Since the dinner date doesn't need to be formal, I would pull my hair back to make sure I see his face uninterrupted. Diana (oh wait...did I tell y'all that's my hair's name????) tends to lay in my eyes disrespectfully. I am constantly pushing my hair back. That's cute and playful for the day date. Evening? Not so much. After securing the rose, I would just need to be camera ready for the couch/date card scenes. Since this show is generally full of women in their 20s, none of them are seen in a bonnet/scarf. As a women in her latter 30s, I juuuuuust might be seen in a scarf. A head wrap would definitely be in the cards. Day of the rose ceremony, hair is washed and ready to go.

At this point, I would generally have a wash n go, a twist out, or a braid out. If I happen to bring my Curlformers, it could happen. I don't flat iron my own hair. Straight hair is out. My blow dryer is a must with bonnet attachment to make sure my hair is dry. I wouldn't bring the diffuser attachment unless it is winter during taping.

Majority of the show consists of group dates and rose ceremonies. I wouldn't worry so much about my hair for rose ceremonies since that would dictate wash day. Please be advised, my wash day takes 1.5 hours for a wash n go (that's generous) or up to 3 hours for a blow out/Curlformer set. Judging by some of the activities during group dates, this is where the issues reside. These ladies are most likely sweating, rolling in mud, or paint/food is flying around. Look, if I can't wear a plastic cap on my head, Houston we have a problem. Then you want me to turn around with clean and neat hair for dinner. Nah fam. I'm over it. You better let me have a stylist. I don't have time. This is not real life. I might tap out.

You know what, this life isn't for me. I would show up to the first group date with twists in a bun. Matter of fact, that might be the standard for all group dates. Throw a head wrap on every once in a while. You want natural hair represented. Baby, you go it. I am NOT stressing myself out. A wash n go might not happen. Neither would a blow out. Shoot, you might not even get a Curlformer set at this point. I'm meeting the family in a wash n go. You will know and understand this natural hair realness.

So what's the takeaway? I don't need to be on The Bachelor. Now the Bachelorette is a different story. The question is.... Do I have a stylist? No? Eh, I would still give it a shot. Maybe. Oh who am I kidding? Unless they find enough men willing to NOT kiss, it's a wrap.